Workout Description

For time: 5 rounds: 30 calorie Assault Air Bike 25 AbMat Sit-Ups 20 Dumbbell Lunges (2x35/20 lb) 15 Kettlebell Swings (53/35 lb) 10 Push-Ups 5 Chest-to-Bar Pull-Ups

Why This Workout Is Hard

Moderate loads, basic-to-intermediate skills, and high total volume across five rounds make this a long grinder. The bike calories (150 total) drive the time domain, while DB lunges and KB swings add sustained muscular fatigue. Short gymnastics sets should stay unbroken for most, but cumulative grip and midline fatigue push this into a challenging, 18–30 minute effort.

Benchmark Times for Pain Parade

  • Elite: <18:00
  • Advanced: 20:00-22:00
  • Intermediate: 24:00-26:00
  • Beginner: >35:00

Training Focus

This workout develops the following fitness attributes:

  • Endurance (7/10): Large bike volume across five rounds demands steady aerobic output. Success hinges on sustainable pacing and controlled breathing without redlining early.
  • Stamina (7/10): Repeated moderate-rep sets of lunges, swings, sit-ups, and push-ups test muscular endurance, especially hips, core, and shoulders over a long time domain.
  • Speed (4/10): Moderate cycling speed with quick transitions helps, but sustained pacing and control matter more than outright sprinting.
  • Power (3/10): Some hip-driven explosiveness in the kettlebell swing, but most work is steady-state rather than high-power efforts.
  • Strength (2/10): Loads are moderate and submaximal. Strength isn’t the limiter; consistent movement quality and stamina are more important than maximum force production.
  • Flexibility (2/10): Standard ROM demands: full hip/knee flexion on lunges, overhead position for swings, and abmat sit-up extension—no extreme mobility requirements.

Scaling Options

Scale to: 5 rounds of 20/15 cal bike, 20 sit-ups, 20 lunges (2x25/15), 15 KB swings (35/26), 8 push-ups, 5 jumping C2B • 4 rounds Rx loads/reps with ring rows for C2B • 20-minute AMRAP of 20/15/16/12/8/4 per round

Scaling Explanation

Each option preserves the workout’s long aerobic grind and mixed-modal feel while adjusting volume and gymnastics skill so athletes can keep moving with minimal long breaks.

Intended Stimulus

A steady, uncomfortable grind. The bike sets the pace—push but don’t sprint. Aim to keep all non-bike sets unbroken or in one quick break while maintaining smooth transitions. Legs and lungs should feel taxed, with accumulating grip and midline fatigue that challenges consistency in later rounds without blowing up early.

Coach Insight

Pace the bike to something you could repeat for all five rounds—hit the same calories per minute every time. One tip: Treat the bike as your governor. Come off it composed so you can go unbroken on the small sets. Avoid sprinting early, death-gripping the KB, or sloppy ROM on lunges and push-ups. Chip away relentlessly.

Benchmark Notes

Times range from 35:00 for newer athletes to 18:00 for elites. Most Rx athletes should finish between 20–28 minutes depending on bike pacing and ability to keep small sets unbroken. If you’re over the cap, reduce bike calories and/or rounds while maintaining consistent movement standards.

Modality Profile

The Assault Bike dominates time under tension, making monostructural work the largest slice. Weightlifting comprises DB lunges and KB swings, adding significant lower-body and hinge volume. Gymnastics (sit-ups, push-ups, C2B) is smaller per round but accumulates fatigue, especially in grip and midline stability.

Similar Workouts to Pain Parade

If you enjoy Pain Parade, you might also like these similar CrossFit WODs:

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  • Double Helen (91% similar) - 3 Rounds for Time 800 meter Run 42 Kettlebell Swings (1.5/1 pood) 24 Pull-Ups...
  • Assault Odyssey (90% similar) - 4 Rounds for Time 30 Ground-to-Overheads (45/25 lb plate) 15 Toes-to-Bars 15 Box Jumps (30/24 in) 30...
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These WODs similar to Pain Parade share comparable training demands, time domains, and movement patterns.

Training Profile

AttributeScoreExplanation
Endurance7/10Large bike volume across five rounds demands steady aerobic output. Success hinges on sustainable pacing and controlled breathing without redlining early.
Stamina7/10Repeated moderate-rep sets of lunges, swings, sit-ups, and push-ups test muscular endurance, especially hips, core, and shoulders over a long time domain.
Strength2/10Loads are moderate and submaximal. Strength isn’t the limiter; consistent movement quality and stamina are more important than maximum force production.
Flexibility2/10Standard ROM demands: full hip/knee flexion on lunges, overhead position for swings, and abmat sit-up extension—no extreme mobility requirements.
Power3/10Some hip-driven explosiveness in the kettlebell swing, but most work is steady-state rather than high-power efforts.
Speed4/10Moderate cycling speed with quick transitions helps, but sustained pacing and control matter more than outright sprinting.

For time: 5 rounds: 30 calorie Assault Air Bike 25 AbMat Sit-Ups 20 Dumbbell Lunges (2x35/20 lb) 15 Kettlebell Swings (53/35 lb) 10 Push-Ups 5 Chest-to-Bar Pull-Ups

Difficulty:
Hard
Modality:
G
M
W
Stimulus:

A steady, uncomfortable grind. The bike sets the pace—push but don’t sprint. Aim to keep all non-bike sets unbroken or in one quick break while maintaining smooth transitions. Legs and lungs should feel taxed, with accumulating grip and midline fatigue that challenges consistency in later rounds without blowing up early.

Insight:

Pace the bike to something you could repeat for all five rounds—hit the same calories per minute every time. One tip: Treat the bike as your governor. Come off it composed so you can go unbroken on the small sets. Avoid sprinting early, death-gripping the KB, or sloppy ROM on lunges and push-ups. Chip away relentlessly.

Scaling:

Scale to: 5 rounds of 20/15 cal bike, 20 sit-ups, 20 lunges (2x25/15), 15 KB swings (35/26), 8 push-ups, 5 jumping C2B • 4 rounds Rx loads/reps with ring rows for C2B • 20-minute AMRAP of 20/15/16/12/8/4 per round

Time Distribution:
21:00Elite
27:00Target
35:00Time Cap
Your Scores:

Training Profile

Performance Levels

L1
L2
L3
L4
L5
L6
L7
L8
L9
L10

Times range from 35:00 for newer athletes to 18:00 for elites. Most Rx athletes should finish between 20–28 minutes depending on bike pacing and ability to keep small sets unbroken. If you’re over the cap, reduce bike calories and/or rounds while maintaining consistent movement standards.